The Terrifying Tale of The ‘Tattooed Samurai’! (Free of Charge)


JD revisits his life as a Prison Educator to reveal the comedic consequences of bumping into a prisoner who claimed to have known a member of his family! The results of this quick chat and ‘open’ verbal exchange were hilarious and are recorded here for posterity! (1,300 words) WARNING: Very Strong Language (Not suitable for any person under the age of 18).


I had just closed the door to the staff room to go back into my class when a student sidled up to me and whispered quietly as he pointed towards a huddled crowd, “Hey, Gov! That guy’s brother over there reckons ‘e knows you!” “Which guy’s brother?”, I asked, as I gazed over into a melee of men of many heights, shapes and sizes, all of whom were dressed in standard prison-issue uniforms and were muttering away to each other, almost silently, in the hope that no passing prison officers would hear the content of what was being spoken about. ‘That one!’, he repeated, thrusting his finger towards a short, tubby lad, whose face was completely covered in multi-coloured tattoos and studs, with hardly any clear visible skin showing. ‘Does he now?’, I answered. ‘How so?’, I added. ‘Reckons his brother went to school with you!’, came the prisoner’s immediate response.

That puzzled me, somewhat, as we were in a high security prison and rarely, at that time, were any ‘locals’ thrown into the mix with the hardcore inmates we were attempting to educate! So, feeling rather intrigued, I popped over to the large, assembled group, many of whom, it must be said, had started breaking off to re-join their individual classes – having already ‘kicked the arse’ out of their comfort break by continuing to have yet another quick smoke, a final game of Rummy and enjoy even more gossip and banter with the other inmates from different wings. And, for some unknown reason, the lad with the tattooed face and studs had remained exactly where he was – probably because he was expecting to have a quick chat with me – which meant that I was able to walk straight over and speak to him, without others trying to listen in…


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